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Wednesday

Apr252012

Return to India, Part 15: A function to mark the final night Sujitha would spend with her family before the wedding

Wednesday, April 25, 2012 at 11:31PM

During a function that will mark the final night before the wedding that the bride stays in the home that houses her birth family, Bhanu prays for her daughter. If the family lived here in Pune, this function would be taking place in their home. As they, and I, are staying in the home of the family of their relative Krishnamurthy Ganesh the function takes place in his house.

Without someone like Manoj and Suji here to guide me, I will not attempt to describe the religious significance of all that is happening. Manoj's family is Lingayat, a religion within Hinduism founded in the 12th century by a Basavavanna, who had been Brahmin but wanted to abolish the caste system and so formed Lingayatism.

Sujitha is Brahmin by birth and upbringing but will now be considered Lingayat. Not so long ago, a Brahmin and a Lingayat could not have married, but now they can.

The priest, Mallayaswamy.

Sowmya Ganesh assists Sujitha after she applies the forehead markings that identify the Lingayat.

Sowmya then turns to Manoj and his forehead markings.

Sujitha and Manoj.

Priest Mallayaswamy blesses the couple whose wedding he will soon preside over.

Afterward, Bhanu is once again overcome with the same emotions she experienced when the train reached Pune. As family members gather around to give her comfort and support, she hugs her one surviving daughter.

Now, Manoj and Sujitha will receive blessings from everyone in the house, beginning with the mother of K. Ganesh, Janaki Krishnamurthy who is bedridden.

Sujitha returns the blessing with her touch of compassion and love.

The couple then kneels before grandfather Natarajan to receive his blessings.

They receive the blessings of Sujitha's hosts, the Ganesh's. And yes, once again, I gave the couple my blessings in the way of their own custom and tradition. Once again, it felt good, as though I were blessed myself - which I was: blessed to be there for this sacred and special event.

Blessings from the parents of the bride.

Afterward, everyone seemed to be happy, feeling good. Up to this point, all present, except the priest, had been relatives of the bride.

Then two of Manu's male cousins, Prashant and Jayantm arrived. Sujitha then served coffee to the priest and the male members of the family she is marrying into and had a cup herself.

Afterwards, she gathered the empty cups.

Then... dinner, south Indian style, prepared by Sowmya with a little help from her guests - and yes, once again, the dining was superb. Aishu Visnu, Sujitha's cousin, cultural sister, and close friend from Bangalore, expressed her fondness for Sujitha by feeding her.

Manu had returned to the home of his parents. His cousins had left also. Now, Sujitha joined her family and relatives for a final night of socializing before the wedding. Aditya, youngest son of the Ganesh's pulled out his guitar and began to strum and sing.

Suji got her turn and made everybody laugh. Everyone tried to get me to play, but I wouldn't do it. Once, I was fairly good on the classic guitar, but that was long ago. I haven't played in decades. The fellow on the right is Abhishek, who is studying to become a pilot in the Indian Air Force. His father is retired from the Air Force and now runs a business supplying aircraft parts to the Air Force.

Perhaps you have noticed the tambura in a few of the pictures that I took back in Bangalore in the home of Ravi and Bhanu. It belongs to Bhanu. She seldom plays it now, but on this night she was persuaded to play the guitar. She held it as though it were a tambura.

Somehow, even though she was out of practice and hestitant in her performance, when she played, she touched me deeply.