Thursday, May 31, 2012 at 9:20AM ;)
Now I take a quick hop back to India. Although my recent Return to India series was fairly extensive and sometimes intense, I focused it almost entirely upon the preparations for Sujitha's wedding, the wedding itself, and the search
Monday, April 23, 2012 at 1:17PM ;)
In time, the darkness slips away and the sun rises. The members of Sujitha's wedding party begin to stir again.
;)
The coffee is not the best... heated milk poured into cups partially filled with instant powder, kind of like Folger's.
;)
Still, I have some more and it is okay - but I long to have a cup brewed by Vasanthi or Bhanu. Sandy had made coffee for me a few times before. She had the South Indian coffee technique down sound.
;)
The sun lights up the henna of the bride.
;)
Before leaving her home in Bangalore, Vasanthi had cooked not only last night's dinner but this morning's breakfast. Even a day later, it remains delicious. I just wish I didn't have this damned acid reflux condition - but Suji bought some Omezaprole for me and it works pretty good. I eat my breakfast and am glad to discover Vasanthi brought enough for seconds.
;)
Natarajan observes this slice of India from the bunk where I had sporadically slept through the night. My other camera lies there with him.
;)
Through the window we see young students in uniform, biking their way to school.
;)
We stop at a couple of stations where some passengers get off the train and others get on.
;)
Suji gives her mom some playful affection...
;)
...and then her dad, who maybe ate just a little bit too much... no, no, he didn't. How could one possibly eat too much of Vasanthi's cooking?
I continue to fantasize: Vasanthi's South Indian Home Cooking restaurant in Anchorage.
;)
What used to be here? What is here now? Where are we? What is this place called?
;)
Ganesh and Rangarajan - his father's best friend. We move along with others whom we do not know and never will know.
;)
As the bride talks to the groom over the wireless, Bhanu gives her son an affectionate, soul-felt, hug...
;)
...and then a more firm embrace...
;)
Then a strong, strong, embrace, fully returned, follows. This is a gift we humans have been given - it surely does help us to enjoy the sweetness of life and to endure life's most bitter sorrows, both of which can be felt in the same moment.
;)
A boy comes through selling Spiderman toys - when thrown against the wall, the hands and feet stick lightly to it, then the Spiderman crawls down the wall.
Suji buys Spidermen for Jobe and Kalib.
;)
We reach the outskirts of Pune.
;)
Suddenly, overcome with emotion, Bhanu grips her daughter's hand. She tells me she is about to lose her daughter, that after the wedding Suji will belong to another family and she will rarely see her again.
;)
Sujitha wraps her arms around her mother. "No, Mum," she soothes. "It used to be like that, but not now. Manu's family is not like that." They are modern people and will not seek to isolate and separate Suji from her birth family, she tells her mother.
;)
Suji assures Bhanu that she will always be her mother and she her daughter, by cultural norms, she will now be considered to be in Manu's family, but in spirit and love, Suji promises she will always remain her daughter and, in spirit and love, Manu will also be part of their family.
Distance and cultural traditions notwithstanding, Suji will keep this relationship strong and active, too. No matter what, she will be there for both her mom and dad. I know it. I won't tell you how I know, just yet, but I do. By the end of this series, which, despite all my long delays, is coming soon, readers will know how I know.
;)
Soon, we reach Pune, where we are greeted at the station by porters who will carry our bags to the road - atop their heads. Suji is very concerned about the white bag. It is filled with sweets called Ladoos, made from graham flour flakes and sugar syrup, rounded into small balls. After the wedding, the Ladoos will be distributed to the families of both the bride and groom.
The sweets are delicate, and could easily be crushed if another bag were to be placed on top of them, or could be shattered were the bag to fall.
;)
The Ladoos won't be crushed now, but the perch of the unsecured bag atop the porter's head leaves Suji feeling most nervous. Her bag of delicate Ladoos is totally unsecured. What is to stop it from falling?
;)
The walk will prove to be quite long...
;)
SURPRIZINGLY LONG... we walk and walk and walk... for Suji, every step is a nervous one.
;)
It reminds me of changing planes in Minneapolis and then walking from a gate at one end of the sprawling terminal to the other. Suji matches the porter, step for step. He seems very confident... but... still... the perch looks precarious... there is nothing to hold the bag in place... the slightest stumble, a sudden turn of the porter's head...
;)
Finally, the road is reached, we step into the hot sun, the bag is lowered safely to the ground, Ladoos whole and ready to be shared.
;)
And then I turn and see a sight that my Alaskan eyes can hardly believe... A World Beyond Imagination... Indeed! Suji pulls out her phone to call Manu and tell him we are here.
Speaking of which, up in Barrow, the Leavitt crew landed the first Arctic Slope bowhead whale of spring Sunday. In Wainwright, the Hopson crew did the same.
Speaking doubly of which, Melanie just arrived home in Anchorage after having spent the past month up on the Arctic Slope doing a job in the oil fields for her company. I have not seen her for almost two months before I left Arizona for India.
Speaking of Arizona, Margie and Lavina should be arriving back in Anchorage from Phoenix about 6:30 PM tonight, but Margie won't be able to come home because she must stay in Anchorage for the rest of the week to babysit.
So I am going to drive into town tonight to see my wife, daughter, and other family members. So I might not post anything and if I do it will likely just be an intermission post.
Then I will take this blog straight into preliminary wedding functions, and then to the wedding itself.
Series index:
Sunday, April 22, 2012 at 6:48PM ;)
After we had been on the train for about three hours, the sun slipped below the horizon and darkness began to settle in. It would take approximately 18 hours to make the 535 mile trip and the night would be 12 hours long. I shot this dim view of the dusky mountains beyond, through the window reflection of Bhanu and a man traveling in the same compartment as us.
;)
Without daylight coming through the windows, the light inside the train became very dim and I found it difficult, often impossible, to grab a focus and hang onto it. Motion blur was a given. It's okay, though, because as I have noted before, life is a blur, anyway. Sometimes, feeling matters more than sharpness.
Two children escaped from the next compartment and came running into ours. We were all happy to see them.
;)
Sometimes, just when they are feeling loose and free and find themselves among strangers who are delighted to see them, children get scooped up and taken back to their seats.
;)
Then they slip away again, to delight us all.
;)
Sujitha and grandfather Natarajan. Suji and grandpa Nats.
;)
Nats and Suji - with Manu at our destination to receive the call of his bride.
;)
I started to get hungry.
;)
Vasanthi had anticipated hunger. Vasanthi enjoys chasing hunger away. She had cooked for us all before leaving home. I do not know if there was a diner car. Vendors came through selling coffee, tea and snacks, but not meals. Even if they had, their meals would not have compared to Vasanthi's.
I sure would like to see this restaurant in Anchorage:
Vasanthi's South Indian Cuisine.
Right now, she is in Minneapolis, Minnesota. My niece, Khena and husband Vivek have a brand new baby daughter, whom they named Thora Uma Marie Iyer - Thora being my mother's name. I will call her, "Little Mother."
Vasanthi is there to help care for her.
;)
Suji gives some love to her dad.
;)
Then she teases Grandpa Nats. That's love, too.
;)
Murthy is a very smart guy. I figured that out when I first met him.
;)
The henna on Suji's hands is darkening swiftly. The process is a little slower on her arms.
;)
Now Suji drops in to share the love with her Uncle Murthy and Aunt Vasanthi. I have still not totally shed my jet lag. I find myself growing very tired.
;)
I can't remember precisely, but it seems like it was about 10:30 PM when my traveling companions began settlling down on their bunks to sleep, so I did the same. My bunk was the one by the window, where Suji had sat with me earlier in the trip, and Ganesh after that.
With the curtains drawn, I was surprised at how dark it was in the bunk. Above me, I could the tiniest of lights, so I took this slow speed picture of it but it didn't really work. I could have tried harder, but I felt extremely tired so I gave up, closed my eyes and soon fell asleep.
About 1:00 AM, I heard my curtain get drawn and then felt someone shake me roughly. I opened my eyes and made out the dim figure of a man and woman. The train was stopped at a station. They had just got on. The man asked me what number my bunk was. He thought I was in his bunk. He wanted me to get out of it.
But I wasn't. I was in my bunk. Murthy, got up, set him straight and then the man and the woman moved on.
After that, I never fell back into a good sleep. There was no fan above me, but somehow, the sound of the train moving down the tracks - always a comforting sound for me - now struck the same note of bitter pain as did the fans.
;)
I would manage to drop off to sleep for 10 to 20 minutes at a time. In one short period, I dreamed of Soundarya. She materialized before me and smiled brightly. She looked happy, full of life. She told me she had decided to continue her life after all, to revive her many dreams, start her training institute and make a good go of things.
Damn, I was happy!
The dream continued beyond that for awhile, but that's all I can remember.
At some ridiculous hour, still too early to be getting up, a vendor came by, selling coffee.
I couldn't sleep, anyway, so I had him pour me a cup.
Series index:
Sunday, April 22, 2012 at 1:55AM ;)
When I first met Ganesh, I didn't know he was a photographer. He didn't know it, either. It was August of 2007 at the wedding of my niece, Khena, to his cousin, Vivek. Ganesh was standing right beside his sister, Soundarya, wearing a blue t-shirt that said, "Italia." At the end of that first trip, he took me on a little tour of Bangalore on his motorbike. I needed to buy some gifts to bring home, so we parked at the end of Commercial Street and walked from there.
He wanted to carry my camera for me. I did not want him to, because it is pretty hard to use a camera if someone else is carrying it. But he REALLY wanted to carry it.
So, finally, I let him.
We then went into a store that sold jewelry and carvings and rugs and paintings and prints and more. It was run by a very aggressive and persistent salesman. I usually abandon such salesman fast, yet, this fellow was also charming and pleasant and fun to talk to, so I stayed to bargain with him. As we dickered, Ganesh lifted my camera and shot a picture of us.
I was surprised when I looked at it later, because it was very good. It is not uncommon for someone to somehow get ahold of one of my cameras and take a picture or few of me somewhere, just for the record. I always appreciate the gesture, but very seldom do the photographs look like anything more than snapshots that anyone would take using any camera.
But Ganesh's image looked like a photograph, like it was done by someone who knew just what he was doing. Impressed though I was, I still reckoned it to be a one-time lucky fluke.
;)
After I returned home, I stayed in almost constant communication with his sister, Soundarya. She would often bring Ganesh's name into the conversation, but not in the context of photography. None of us yet thought of him as a photographer.
Then, in May of 2009, I came back to shoot Soundarya's wedding. Less than a year had passed since I had taken a bad fall, destroyed my right shoulder and it had been replaced with titanium. I still wore a brace on my right wrist and hand, but by then had pretty well figured out how to use my cameras again.
I carried two cameras at the wedding - one with a wide-angle zoom and the other with a telephoto zoom. I had barely started to shoot the wedding when Ganesh volunteered to carry one of my cameras. I told him no, it was okay, I could handle it myself. I carry two cameras for a reason, so that I can switch rapidly back and forth between wider and tighter views, without stopping to change a lens. If someone else is carrying one of them, then I can't switch so rapidly back and forth.
I had come straight off the Arctic sea ice at Wainwright into record-setting heat in Bangalore - 100 plus. I was sweating so hard I drenched my shirt. I know I looked like a wreck - a brace on my right hand and wrist, my shirt soaked in sweat, my hair plastered to my head, drops of sweat falling into and stinging my eyes...
Ganesh was very worried. He kept running off to get me lemonade, and kept urging me to let him carry a camera. He did not understand that when I shoot pictures, even if I look a wreck and even if I am tired, it doesn't matter. I can go and go and go until the job is done. I just don't stop and I don't need anyone to carry a camera for me.
;)
BUT HE REALLY WANTED TO!
I was probably shooting about ten wide frames to every tight frame, so finally I gave in. I let him take the camera with the telephoto but told him to stay close, because I could need it at any moment. I planned to let him carry it for maybe ten minutes and then I would take it back.
I removed the super-wide angle from the camera I was shooting with and replaced it with a 24-105, which gave me a decent wide angle up to a small telephoto. This would cover most situations. Ten minutes passed and I let him carry it a little longer. Soon the wedding progressed near to the point where Anil would place a sacred necklace around Sandy's neck and they would be married.
I knew I wanted to shoot this, the most important moment of the wedding, with both the wide and narrow views, so I turned to retrieve my other camera from Ganesh... but I could not see Ganesh.
Worse yet, at that moment, the aggressive local photographer with the blasting flash decided I was where he wanted to be and so he stuck his elbow into my ribs and started to push. As I was a guest in his country, I had been pretty deferential up until then and had done my best to work around him and when he would spoil my shot, I would move and find another.
But not this time. Not for this moment. This time, I pushed back. "I came all the way from Alaska to photograph this wedding," I told him. "You better back off now." He did. Once, and once only. From there, everything happened fast. I could not stop or move to find Ganesh and get my other camera. I just had to make what was on my camera work. I would get no tight shots.
;)
Back in Alaska, when I finally got a chance to look at that part of my wedding take, I was surprised to find some very nice tight shots of the moment when Anil had placed the necklace around Sandy's neck, shot from the same angle as my wider shots.
"How the hell did I do that?" I wondered.
I thought about it off and on for the next month or two and then suddenly it dawned on me - I didn't do it. Ganesh shot those tight shots - so well that anyone would think it was professional work. He had shot right over my shoulder. Had the situation not been so tense, I would probably have found him and would have been able able to get the camera.
To what end? A certain, beautiful, instant in the wedding of Soundarya and Anil would have been captured either wider or tighter - but not both. Yes, I would have captured the basic scene both wide and tight, because I can switch cameras very fast - but I could have only shot that moment once, with one camera, one lens.
And now it is recorded both ways.
Ganesh and I were a team that day. I just didn't know it at the time. I didn't know he was a photographer.
;)
I know it now, so does he and that's how we both learned. Ganesh has a natural eye that needs no instruction. He has talent and he has passion. Yes, he has much to learn (and so do I) but photography is in his soul. He loves to shoot pictures of birds and wild animals. I can assure you, he has way better pictures of birds than I do. He also loves to shoot pictures of people, especially children. He has a job in high tech sales. His highest goal is to be there for his parents and to support them as they grow old and he feels the best way he can do that is keep doing what he is doing.
If he could make enough to support him and them with a camera, then, yes, he says, he would go professional, as it is in his heart. He says India is different than the US and feels it is almost impossible to make a living as photographer in India - except, perhaps, in the wedding field. In India, there is high demand for wedding photographers.
So he is already getting himself some wedding gigs to see what will happen. A few days ago, he told me about one wedding he was dickering on and how he was going to set a good price and he was not going to go below that price - because he could give them something special, something more than the normal Indian wedding photo shoot. And right there, he already has me beat. If you come to me tomorrow and somehow convince me to shoot your wedding, I will not give you a price. I have never given anyone a price. I'll just shoot it and if you want to do something for me later, fine, if not, that's okay, too. But please don't ask. Unless you are very close to me or we have a special tie, I'm not going to do it. I don't care if I go broke first. I just won't do it.
So Ganesh is already making sure that if he does a wedding, he is going to get decent pay for it. And he has a vision for shooting weddings that I think I have influenced. He might use a strobe sometimes, but when he can he will go for the beauty of natural light and when he has to use strobe, he will learn how to bounce it and shape the light.
But still, he thinks his economic propects are better at his sales job. I cannot second guess him on this, but I do recognize his talent and if I can help, I want to.
;)
He wants to come to Alaska next summer and I want to bring him here. I want to take him to the Arctic Slope and introduce him to the summer birds that come there - and to birds elsewhere in Alaska - and polar bears and moose and caribou and he will go nuts and shoot great pictures.
We just need to figure out how to pay for it. There's got to be a way. There is always a way.
Mostly, I worry about feeding him. He is vegetarian. I don't know how a vegetarian can survive for any length of time on the Arctic Slope, or anywhere out in bush Alaska. But there's got to be a way. We will figure it out. We've just got to get him here, first.
Subhankar Banerjee - he is one of Alaska and the Arctic's finest and most acclaimed photographers. He was born and raised in India. I'll lay odds that sooner or later he will even read this blog post. He found the way. Ganesh can find the way, too - even if only for a little while.
I have written about how cheap things are in India - but not camera equipment. A good camera costs more in Bangalore than it does in Anchorage.
The story of how Ganesh got his first real camera body, the one you see here, is sad. It is one of my old cameras that I outgrew. I gave it to Sandy, because she loved photography, too. Technically, she didn't know anything and was prone to blur, but with her cheap little camera she took some of the sweetest, most sensitive, pictures I ever saw - bugs, calves, cows, puppies, kittens, old ladies, family... pictures that transported me into another world. So I gave the camera to Sandy and Ganesh inherited it from her. He bought the 80-200 lens seen here himself. Now he needs to get a good wide-angle.
Except for the fifth, the photos here are self-explanatory. As for the fifth, the concessioner just spilled hot coffee on Ganesh's hand, and on his camera. The concessioner tends to Ganesh as Murthy wipes the coffee from his camera.
Series index:
Friday, April 20, 2012 at 8:47PM ;)
Just before we left to catch the train there was a very short blessing ceremony for Sujitha, in light of her upcoming wedding ceremony. The rest of us held flower petals and as she knelt before each of us in turn, we sprinkled the petals upon her.
In mainstream American culture, one does not kneel before another, but I was in India now, in the midst of Hindu culture and so I joined in and made a prayer for her in her own way. Even though I am not Hindu, or anything else but a questioner and wandering wonderer, for that matter, it was a real prayer and blessing - a prayer I felt in my heart and a blessing I gave with my soul.
I want her to have a good life and a good marriage with Manoj. This was my prayer for her and my blessing to her. I offered it and gave it by sprinkling flower petals upon as she kneeled, not in servitude but in respect, before me. It felt good to me. I know it felt good to her as well - we were both blessed.
My photo and the words I write here are a reiteration of this prayer/blessing. Each time a set of eyes looks upon this image and reads these words, the prayer is offered anew.
;)
After the blessings, she received a hug from her aunt, Dr. Bhuvaneshwari.
;)
Sujitha waves goodbye to neighbors from across the street, who stepped out of their doors to say goodbye just as she was leaving.
;)
Now, the feeling inside the cab is all happiness, excitement and joy.
;)
And then came that moment when she thought about her sister and best friend, Soundu, and how they had talked about and planned for this day and all the things that Sound was going to do make certain the day was special. This is maybe one second after the photo in the last post. The tear has traveled down her cheek. It can hardly be seen now, but it is there.
We traveled in two cabs. After we reach the station, as we stand in the shade of an awning beyond the reach of the hot, hard, sun that beats down beyond, Ravi withdraws the rupees he will need to pay the cab drivers. Ravi also paid my train fare, as well as the fares of his family members.
;)
Porters take our bags to where we will board the Indian Railways train. Standing in the shade of still another awning, Suji reaches Manu on the phone.
;)
Our train is running a bit behind schedule. Suji rests upon her father's knees as we wait.
;)
Pretty soon, she is again talking to Manu on the phone.
;)
She grooms the hair of her aunt "Bhuvana," a medical doctor, who will not be traveling with us on the train, but will come later by plane.
;)
Our train pulls into the station.
;)
We board - here, Ganesh, Vasanthi, Murthy, Natarajan and Suji.
;)
Soon, Suji is back on the phone with Manu.
;)
She and her grandfather exchange fond glances.
;)
Suji glances at me through the mirror in the larger compartment across the aisle. An 18-hour train ride awaits us. Those who have followed this blog for awhile and know how I feel about trains will not be surprised to learn that I am... EXCITED... happy to be on this train, happy to be traveling with my Indian family. Just under five years ago, I did not even know they existed and now I am bonded with them.
It will take at least two more posts, maybe three, for me to cover this train ride and I think I had better also throw in at least one spacer at some point, maybe two. I am running way behind. I need to get this blog to Suji's wedding, pronto. So it is my intent to put up all of the train ride posts before I go to bed. Maybe I won't make it. Maybe I will have to wait and finish in the morning. I want to get it done, but I don't want to rush it, either.
Yet, I am rushing it. I could work on the larger story here for months yet, maybe a year. I suppose I will, too, but not in this blog. I must wrap this blog series up, very soon.
Series index:
