Frederick Fred Rica lost his profile
Wednesday, November 6, 2013 at 2:54PM 
Yesterday, I heard on the news that an 82 year-old fellow by the name of Frederick Fred Rica was walking through Wasilla when some little kids pelted him in the head with pebbles. He wasn't seriously injured, but much to his distress the pebbles knocked his profile off and he couldn't find it. He looked all over, but his profile was nowhere to be found. He even pulled out his iPhone and checked Facebook, but it wasn't there, either.
Rica was most upset, the reporter reported. "My profile was my best feature!" He lamented. "People always told me, 'Frederick, you have a most magnificent profile. Handsome! When we look at your profile we see a youthful old man.'"
Well, I just found Frederick Fred Rica's profile, frozen here in this mud puddle. I don't know how to get it back to him, but if anyone sees Frederick Fred Rica, maybe they could tell him about it and he can come over to this puddle and try to put it back on. It's just off to the side of Selden Road, not far from Ward's Hill.
Text added at 3:14 PM. The Squarespace nightmare continues - day 46 and counting.