Breakfast at Family Restaurant, continued: compartments of the heart; The Daily School Bus
The food here is good and hearty, and before Abby started up her home cooking, I was a frequent guest. So much so that when I walked in today, waitress Connie exclaimed,"I was just thinking about you and wondering why I had not seen you for so long?" When I told her I wanted an omelette, she knew exactly what ingredients should be in that omelette and that I would want hashbrowns with it and just how those hashbrowns should be cooked. She knew I wanted multi-grain toast, "on the delay," after I had finished everything else.
During a prolonged period of deep grief during which sleep came harder than normal and then only in spurts, never for long, I would come here almost every day, frequently right at opening time of 6 AM. Often, I would be the only customer in the restaurant. I would sit here for long after I finished breakfast and slowly sip coffee. Sometimes, I would hear the rumble of the train, the whistle and then it would roll by, only its headlights visible through the reflections on the window. This morning, as I lay in bed awake at 6:05 AM I heard the distant whistle of the train. I knew that if I had already gotten up I could've sat right here and watched it roll by.
Deep grief does not leave you. You learn to live with it, to put it in a box and store that box in a compartment in your heart. The heart can hold many such boxes. Every now and then, one or more of these boxes will come out of your heart to remind you that laughter and smiles notwithstanding, the grief remains. This is good. It holds the one who is gone close to you. Yet, the moment always comes when you must put that box back in the compartment in your heart and carry on with your day.
When I arrived, Family Restaurant was nearly empty. As I leave, it is nearly packed.
Right after I began my drive home from Family Restaurant, I had to stop at an intersection. A school bus rolled by. Hence, The Daily School Bus. The Squarespace nightmare continues.
I do not think there is any need for me to blog any further this day. You never know, though.