David Alan Harvey Workshop, entry 9: Riding down Humiliation Road with nothing to show for myself, I watched as some superb essays came together; a few drops of rain fell upon my camera

My last Loft Workshop post began with a picture of Zun Lee with his arms wrapped around Tracie Williams, who was painfully frustrated at how her take of the Occupy Wall Street movement at Zucotti Park had gone so far. She was not happy with her presentation, either. David had passed over her protest candid shots, zeroed in on some strong portraits of protesters that she had made using detached flash and had then suggested that she concentrate the remainder of her shoot on doing more such portraits.

She had done just that. Now, when her images were projected onto the screen, we beheld multiple powerful images, including one of a young protestor with his t-shirt pulled up and self-inflicted scars on his chest that just made us all gasp and go, "wow!"

 

When Carolyn Beller put up her images, we also gasped, "wow!" - particularly at the image at the lower left, partially masked by her hand.

I'm afraid that I basically did not take pictures during these workshop sessions, except to raise my camera a couple of times just to put something from the morning on my own personal record, so I do not have pictures of any of my other fellow workshoppers as they made their presentations:

Andy Kropa - who had added a stunning, magical picture from Zucotti Park that has now become one of the iconic - perhaps THE ICONIC - images from the protest there...

Isabella Eseverri - with some sexy dance shots in her essay that would become known as, "Latina."

Mark Bennington - with his atmospherically dark, dreamy, tastefully sexy shots of young woman, all of whom hid secrets behind their lovely and mysterious faces.

Sarah Baker - She had transformed her image of the black barbershop from color into black and white and was creating something warm and homey, yet also powerful, including a "wow" image that also makes you laugh.

Edite Haberman - art. How else can I describe Edite's work? She is an artist. A non-practicing Jew, she had immersed herself in the local Hassidic community and was producing... art; penetrating images of beauty. No one could do what she was doing in just five days - four if you really think about it - but she was doing it.

Jen Klewitz - I have to use that word, "sexy" again, plus - moody, atmospheric, dreamy, romantic - all on the Tango, a dance which is all of those things. Wow! Wow! Wow!

Milli Apelgren - She had produced an exceptional action skateboard image, but it would not be part of her essay. That would all be devoted to some of New York's coolest people. Again, "Wow."

And Zun Lee - Again, Wow! Wow! Wow! He was finding the black father that he had missed growing up.

Yet, there were two photographers who had no "wow" shots projected that day - in fact, neither had any shots projected at all.

One was Uwe Schober of Germany. He had disappeared from the workshops a couple of days before, not long after receiving a pretty blunt critique from David. We were all worried about him, but the word was that he had come in, done his one-on-one meeting with David and that everything was good with him and he was out shooting his essay, also focused on the Occupy Wall Street Movement and those gathered in Zucotti Park. He was said to be producing some excellent material and we would see it tomorrow.

That left only me. I had nothing - not one image to show - not today, not tomorrow. My computer was still at the Apple Store. I had taken on two essays. The first, the one dealing with my own life through Mormon missionaries, had come to a dead end. The excursion that I had taken the day before to get the second essay going had failed to produce a single image, because I had failed to find a single street or subway preacher.

I felt a bit humiliated, sitting there as everybody showed their great work while I put forth nothing. I did not want to be humiliated at the show the next night, but humiliation was the direction that I was headed toward.

Somehow, the presentation and visit of Danny Wilcox Frazier passed by without me ever taking a single photo. I guess I was so mesmerized by Frazier's black and white essay, Driftless: Photographs From Iowa, I forgot to shoot.

In this magnificent essay, Frazier made me realize some of the stretches that I must yet make if I am ever to shoot an essay on Wasilla that plumbs the depths I hope to reach. So far, I have just been splashing on the edges of that essay - but it is there, waiting for me to do it.

How do I push myself to the depths and lengths that Frazier did of his home state?

It feels impossible.

But it isn't.

Somehow...

but how...

No... it can be done. I can do it.

And here is Carolyn, the human tripod, shooting a portrait of Zun.

I had needed to get to the Apple Store to pick up my computer. Another guest was coming. David warned me not to miss her. I got on the train, picked up the computer from the Apple Store, then shot a few pictures and got just a few drops of rain on my Canon 5D Mark II. This worried me, because when it comes to moisture, the 5D Mark II is absolutely the worst camera I have ever owned - it is probably the worst ever made.

I do not state this lightly - THE WORST. But otherwise, a wonderful camera - in many ways, the best that I have ever owned.

A few drops of rain can be all it takes to shut it down - or even send it to the repair shop.

This is the guest David wanted us all to be there for - Mary Anne Golon, the former picture editor of Time Magazine who now works as an independent photo editor and professional media consultant. Her connections in the world of photojournalism are both broad and deep. Were we to become connected to her, David emphasized, that alone would make our own connections broad and deep - although it would be up to us to make something of those connections.

I did take a few pictures of Golon - and was horrified to see that the raindrops had indeed put my camera out of action. The images were streaked with lines and sprays of color, blue and green in this case, but sometimes red, sometimes purple, sometimes yellow - sometimes all these sprays in one image.

So far, essay wise, the week that been a total failure. And now this.

What the hell?

Humiliation road - I continued my fast charge down it.