The full moon: over a gray whale, 23.5 years ago; over Wasilla late this afternoon; when memory fools; tomorrow, the series will continue
Monday, February 6, 2012 at 9:36PM ;)
One night, the full moon hung over the rescue site. It was a cold night and almost everybody had left the ice, a fact that I kind of enjoyed. But this is getting ahead of my story. I did get home from Anchorage this afternoon in time to finish my preliminary edit of my gray whale rescue take - or at least all of what I have so far found. Afterward, in my mind I selected certain images from that edit that I thought I would run in tonight's post, as they seemed to be images that would pick up the story from where I left it two nights ago, so that I could begin to move it forward again.
But I changed my mind and decided to hold off one more night to give myself a chance to gather information to refresh my memory a bit before moving on. Here is why: last night, I was googling about and I came to a story in the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner, one of a number here and there aimed at telling the "real-life" story - kind of like I'm trying to do.
In the diaglogue section, I found two commentors debating about who had been first to photograph the gray whales, the primary candidates being Oran Caudle, who had videotaped the whales, and myself, a still photographer. One of the commentors used this blog to argue that I had been first. To argue that it had been Caudle, the other countered with two sources of information - Tom Rose's book, Freeing the Whales, which was the starting point but thankfully not the finishing point for the movie, Big Miracle. His other source was my book, Gift of the Whale. The commentor pointed to page 112, where he said that I had written that I had gone out shortly after Caudle.
I decided that I must set him straight and point out that he had somehow misinterpeted my words. So I turned to page 112 to find whatever passage he had misinterpreted so that I could point out what it really said. Guess what? He was right.
This is what I wrote, in my own book, published thirteen-and-a-half years ago:
"On October 12, Geoff and Craig took Oran Caudle from the North Slope Borough TV studio out to videotape the whales... I headed out shortly afterward, following hunter Billy Adams..."
Yet, I had written here that I had gone out to the whales before Oran. When I wrote those words here, I wrote from memory, but my own earlier writings contradict me. My earlier writing must be correct, as the memory was fresher then. I don't know why my memory changed, but it did. This worries me a bit, for more reasons than one.
My basic premise was true - I was the only photographer of any kind to cover the rescue from beginning to end. Once the national media arrived, Oran spent most of his time working in the TV studio to support the national TV media.
Still, I do not like to make a mistake like that. If I had taken the time to read my own story first, I wouldn't have - but I didn't want to take the time. I wanted to get the blog post up. My story was in my memory. Why did I need to read it, anyway?
The idea to blog the gray whale rescue came to me as soon as I learned the movie was being made, but I envisioned going at it in a very different manner than I actually am. I had always wanted to tell the full story - in the single chapter that I devoted to the rescue in Gift of the Whale, I only had the space to tell an abbreviated version.
So I thought that if I blogged it over the same number of days that it actually took the rescue to unfold, I could tell a comprehensive story. To really do it right, I figured that I would need to spend some real time at it - two months at least, maybe three. I would need to track down as many of the key people involved, both inside and outside the Iñupiat community and interview them. I knew that the movie's Malik was going to be a very different person than the real life Malik, so I wanted to spend time with those who knew him best so that I could put his life back together and flesh out his character.
I did not have the financial resources to undertake such a project, but there is a certain grant award that I thought would be just perfect. I contacted the point person for that grant and told her what I wanted to do. She thought it was a good project - but not for the blog. She said I should publish it in another vehicle. But I did not want to tell the story in another vehicle. I wanted to build my blog up and I wanted my comprehensive story to appear blog style in my blog before it appeared anywhere else. I did not want to put it in a vehicle that would compete against my own blog.
So I decided I would find another way - but I never did. Then, as I heard about the pending release of the movie, I knew that it had become impossible to do what I wanted to do. I decided it was a lost cause and that I would just let it go. Then I saw the movie with Margie. When we walked out of the theatre, I knew I had to blog something.
I decided I would just pull up negatives and my memory, read a few little things and blast through the process as quickly as possible. But after making the mistake I wrote about in the above section, I know that while it is now impossible for me to carry out my original plan, I must take the time to be certain I get basic things right.
Starting tomorrow night, I am confident I can pick up where I left off and carry it through to the end, which I will make happen by this weekend - so that I can do what must be done before I leave for Arizona/India on February 27.
So please bear with me for 24 more hours and then we roll with those graywhales.
This moonshot, by the way, is from late afternoon/early evening today, when I was out on my walk.
Think of that - the very same moon that was reflecting down upon the gray whale above twenty-three-and-half years ago near Barrow was reflecting down upon me today as I walked through my neighborhood here in Wasilla.
Reader Comments (4)
One of the things that I really like about your blog is the way you let us in on your process. The decisions you make, what works, what does not, the uncertainties- the underlying story of the creative process in all it's messiness. And through it all these amazing gems begin to appear as you weave your words and images into shape. Keep going just the way you are.
Bill, I appreciate so much about you. Your photos are magnificent, and your stories and honest, soulful comments are incredibly real. I thank you for sharing all of that with me. I also thank you for the realism in simply presenting your thoughtful conundrums as you gather your work and fine-tune what you decide to present here. I regret it took me so long to find you, but I'm here now, every day, even though I generally just read quietly to myself and relish each word, each photo, each thought, that you share here.
Each post is like a new Christmas gift that I give to myself that I get to unwrap anew every day. I just wanted you to know that today.
Bill, truly, it doesn't matter who was first to document the scene, you were there from start to finish. And you had the community and whales well-being at heart.
Forgive yourself for the mistake.
Take care of your concern about your memory, and keep us all in the loop of your amazing experiences, writing and photography.
the moon shot is magnificent. and the other comments voiced how i feel about your blog , i'm glad you are taking us on this journey